How to Change Habits and Meet Your Goals
A neuropsychologist shares the benefits of small goals and the keys to making progress on fresh starts.
About three in 10 Americans make New Year’s resolutions, but only about 9% stick with them throughout the year, according to recent research.
But with the right approach, it’s possible to set realistic goals and embrace behavior changes you’ve been wishing to see in yourself, according to Dr. Heidi Bender, a clinical neuropsychologist with NewYork-Presbyterian and Weill Cornell Medicine.
“New Year’s resolutions should be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound,” says Dr. Bender. “Most people end up choosing goals that are much too all-or-nothing.”
Action-oriented strategy is often the key to creating measurable change. “There are so many ways to use SMART goals,” says Dr. Bender. “Once you use them as your New Year’s resolutions, it can also help you achieve your goals in other aspects of your life, such as in your career or developing hobbies.”
Preparing for your goals
Before you begin choosing your goals, Dr. Bender recommends taking a “pre-planning” step.
First ask yourself: Why is this goal important to me? “Your goal should be to improve your quality of life, standard of living, or knowledge base,” says Dr. Bender.
It’s also important to avoid an all-or-nothing mindset, such as “I am never going to drink coffee” or “I am going to work out every single day.” Instead, aim to make a small change each week to build to a larger goal.
“Often, when we’re choosing goals or resolutions, we frame them as something we should stop doing, instead of something that we can improve upon or add to our lives,” says Dr. Bender.
Try to flip the script, so that the focus is on positivity, instead of guilt and negative self-refection.
SMART Goals
Once you’ve completed the pre-planning step, it’s time to yourself up for success with goals that are:
Specific
“It’s important to think about what specifically you want to change,” says Dr. Bender. Goals should be focused, clear, and well-defined with an action plan. If your goal is a broader long-term one, then your plan would consist of short-term goals, with detailed steps.
It can also help to write your goal down and place it somewhere noticeable, such as your refrigerator or bathroom mirror, as a visual reminder.
Measurable
Define your goals in a way that allows you to measure success. For example, if you want to exercise more, choose how many days in the week you want to work out, and for how long. If you commit to taking a 30-minute walk three times a week for the next month, that is a measurable goal that you will clearly know whether you’ve accomplished or not.
“You can decide your own indicator of success, and it can always be updated – don’t be afraid to adjust your goals as you meet different milestones,” says Dr. Bender.
Achievable
Dr. Bender advises starting small, which allows you to test things out and get a sense of whether the plan is working for you. Action plans can help you understand if and how your goals can be achieved and can be modified to help you attain them.
“Ask yourself: Do I have the tools and skills needed to meet my goal, or do I need help? For example, if you want to master a very advanced piece on the guitar, you may need to meet with a teacher to get there,” says Dr. Bender.
Relevant
It’s important for your goal to be within reach, realistic, and aligned with your life purpose.
“Your goal should revolve around something that is a top priority in your life,” says Dr. Bender. “If it doesn’t impact your day-to-day in a meaningful way, it’s easier to lose motivation.”
Time-bound
This could be a clearly defined timeline, including a starting date and a target date of achievement. The purpose is to create urgency. “You should have a clear, realistic timeline set up, so that you know you are changing incrementally or have fully actualized your goals,” says Dr. Bender.
If you haven’t made it to the gym as often as you’d like or slipped back into habits you hoped to leave behind, there’s value in the fact that you made the resolution in the first place.
“Be kind to yourself,” says Dr. Bender. “Even if you fall behind on your goals, you’re still learning a lot about what helps you change and what doesn’t help you change. Celebrate the small victories as you go. New Year’s resolutions are often about the journey and not the destination.”
Heidi Allison Bender, Ph.D, is a board-certified neuropsychologist with NewYork-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center and director of Neuropsychological Services at the Weill Cornell Medicine Brain and Spine Center. She specializes in the evaluation and treatment of patients of all ages with a wide range of neurological and cognitive disorders. Dr. Bender has expertise in evaluating patients to determine if they are candidates for epilepsy surgery and in cognitive remediation therapies appropriate for patients with a wide variety of cognitive challenges (i.e., after neurological surgery, cerebrovascular accidents, and other events). Dr. Bender has a special interest in the neuropsychological needs of non-native English speakers and patients born outside of the United States, and is active in professional groups working to reduce disparities in health care.
Additional Resources
Learn more about psychiatry and behavioral health at NewYork-Presbyterian.