How to Cope with a Cancer Diagnosis

When diagnosed with cancer, it’s normal to feel shock, fear, and anxiety.

“Most people, as soon as they hear the word cancer, immediately wonder how serious and life-changing their diagnosis will be,” says Susan Marchal, LCSW, a social worker who works with cancer patients and their families at NewYork-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center.

While receiving a cancer diagnosis can be extremely difficult news to process and treatment can be intense, Marchal explains that there are many ways patients can support their physical and mental health during their cancer journey. “Cancer treatment is demanding physically, but it also takes a mental health toll,” she says. “It’s important for patients to be kind to themselves during this process.”

Health Matters spoke with Susan to learn more about ways to help cope with a cancer diagnosis, from tips to communicating with loved ones to the benefits of seeking support groups and therapy.

What are some unique challenges that cancer patients face?
Susan: Cancer can be a scary word and there can be a lot of unknowns, which might make it hard for a patient to feel like they’re in full control.

Dealing with a cancer diagnosis affects all aspects of our well-being: physical, mental, and spiritual. In addition, not being able to work during treatment often adds financial pressure as patients recover.

The effects of treatment on the body can cause pain, fatigue, sleep disturbances, and tension, which can affect a person’s mood and behavior. It is common to experience anxiety, depression, irritability, anger, and lack of motivation when dealing with a cancer diagnosis. These shifts in mood can cause unwanted behaviors such as angry outbursts, social withdrawal, and changes in eating, to name a few.

The first step in coping with these changes is to realize that you are not alone and to have self-compassion for your experience. It can be uncomfortable to be vulnerable by asking for help or talking about unpleasant feelings — but it is in finding community and learning to ask for what we need, that we can start to feel better. Practicing gratitude for small things, finding community in a support group, journaling, seeing friends, and finding reasons to laugh and enjoy yourself can be incredibly helpful in shifting your mood and allaying the fear and discomfort that can come with cancer treatment.

What is your advice for sharing with others that you have a cancer diagnosis?
Telling others that you have cancer is an extremely personal decision. Some people post on social media to keep their friends and family updated along their treatment journey, while others want to keep it as private as possible. Whatever your comfort level may be, discussing what you’re going through can make your experience with cancer a lot easier.

Many people struggle with how to tell their children about their cancer diagnosis. Children will almost always have a sense that something is off. Talking with your children in age-appropriate ways about your diagnosis can help them process what’s happening. You can also reassure them that you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself. There are many books for children on this subject, and in some cases, a care team might recommend a child life specialist to help families cope.

What are some tips on improving mental health?
Many cancer patients struggle to emotionally process their diagnosis, especially in the beginning. Often, they will minimize their experience by avoiding talking about it and only focusing on treatment. While this can feel like an effective strategy in the short-term, they may find feelings of anxiety or depression may start to appear later on, even after their treatment is finished.

Uncertainty is present in all aspects of our life, but a patient diagnosed with cancer is acutely aware of the uncertainty of their treatment outcome and, of course, the possibility of recurrence. Up to 70% of people who have completed cancer treatment report fear of recurrence. Taking control of your health by actively partnering with your medical team can help regain a sense that you are doing everything in your power toward your best outcome.

Talking about the experience with a friend, a mental health professional, journaling about your feelings, or attending a support group to connect with others who are having similar experiences can also help immensely. It is important to remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it can contribute to your feeling better.

Many cancer patients speak about returning to their old life after treatment ends, but often report that their life post-treatment is a kind of new normal. They feel changed by the experience and gain a better sense of what is most important to them, as well as a sense of gratitude for the things that bring them happiness.

What is your advice for cancer patients during treatment, as well as after treatment?
Daily routine will be affected in varying degrees when going though cancer treatment. But even when presented with an aggressive treatment plan there are things you can do to feel better.

Try going outside as much as possible and connecting with nature, even if it’s spending 10 minutes outdoors. If you feel up to it, socialize with friends in person or over the phone. Be careful not to overdo it, and listen to your body. Be gentle with yourself; after all, your body is going through a lot with treatment, and it’s important that you allow yourself time to rest and heal.

What kinds of resources are available to cancer patients?
Cancer patients should remember that they are not alone, and that there are many resources to support them as they go through treatment, enter survivorship, and resume their lives.

National organizations like CancerCare and American Cancer Society offer educational, financial, and emotional support for people with any type of cancer diagnosis. There are also diagnosis-specific organizations, such as Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, which provides their own set of specific programs.

Support groups, in-person or virtual, as well as social workers at the medical center where they receive treatment, are incredible sources of community and support for cancer patients— both while they are fighting cancer and after they are in remission. It can be helpful to connect with others who are going through the same experience, as well as those who are now on the other side of treatment.